I'm kinda not liking springtime.
I got all comfy and cozy in the routine BF and I had gotten into with spending time with each other and our kids. Now that the weather is nicer, we're seeing each other less just because more things are coming up.
I knew that was going to happen, but I wasn't mentally prepared for it...especially since we had been able to see each other a lot more in the past few weeks.
This weekend he's on a two night bachelor-party-camping trip.
I didn't even know there was such a thing, but I guess a bachelor party can be anything you want it to be, I guess. This is the world of people who actually like to spend time outdoors.
I have to give him lots of credit, though. He was texting me a bit last night and called twice. And since he's off work on Sunday, he made it sound like he's going to make every effort to get home early enough to clean up and come with me to church.
I am not used to this. I've known him for 7 months or so and I still don't expect him to be so thoughtful or try so hard. And now that I think about it, it's really not trying at all...it should be something that someone would want to do for someone they care about.
He and X are so entirely different and I can't help comparing them. In my head I keep thinking that he's going to act the way X did, but he doesn't. He never does and for that I am thankful.
Like, X would have left on this trip (if he were really going where he said he would be going) and I wouldn't have heard a peep from him until the trip was over unless I contacted him first, which would have been a disaster because he would accuse me of checking up on him. And I guarantee you he wouldn't be going out of his way without my asking to come with me to church.
I'm figuring out that the majority of men do not act like X. I wish I could make myself remember that all the time, especially when it comes to BF.
BF also make comments on a daily basis on how he can't wait until I am his all the time and we can say good night every night in person instead of over the phone. He says that I am the love of his life and he will love me for the rest of his life.
Well, the feeling is definitely mutual and I daydream about a future with him constantly. However, I am still thankful for the things that prevent us from being able to rush our way to that point and force us to think about and discuss things well in advance.
And I'm still terrified that he's going to wake up on morning (whether we're living together or not) and suddenly realize that I'm not all that he thinks I am. I mean, I've been 100% me this entire time. He knows lots of unappealing things about me and he knows the good things about me. I'm pretty sure he actually knows who I am and not what he thinks I am. But I still can't grasp what makes him so drawn to me. The last thing I want is for us to get married and have him realize this and then feel like he's stuck.
Of course, I think he worries about the same thing, only it'll be me coming to this realization about him.
I wonder if those kinds of thoughts are normal.
In other news, work is going pretty well. The kids are healthy and seem to be happy, but they've been fighting a lot lately. DS has packed on some weight in the last couple of weeks and has become a little chubber.
I've been keeping up with my exercising. My weight's been sticking between 106 and 110, which I am happy about, and I think that fluctuation just has to do with where I am in my cycle. My mom noticed that my legs are becoming rather shapely. I have never in my life had shapely legs!! My arms are definitely toned and it's causing veins I didn't even know I had to pop out. I also have shoulder/neck muscle tone. I'm not sure if I like that...it's not very feminine. Overall, I'm happy with exercising and it's something I want to do and feel pretty bad if I miss a day.
I gave myself a pedicure this morning while waiting for it to warm up outside. I'll take the kids out the play and wash my car.
I guess that's it for now.
Until next time...
